appointment

Well, sometimes I think I'm going crazy. Where did that last thing come from? I definitely drank too much last night, so maybe that was it. I probably shouldn't have put it here. On this blog, I mean. I guess it's kind of private, even though I don't know what it means. Jeremy called a little while ago to ask where I got that picture. Good question. It was like I was sleep-walking when I did that. I don't even remember posting it. I'm a little worried about this. Should I be worried?

I had an appointment with Jill this morning, so that was convenient. Jill is my therapist. She's great. I like her a lot. We usually talk about work and stress and my career plans and so on. It gets a bit boring sometimes, but she never seems bored. She seems interested in everything. She says, "Why, that sounds wonderful, Kat," like she's really excited for me. I guess the therapy part is when I start wondering why what she's excited about sounds boring to me. I mean, what we're talking about is me, right? I wonder if her life is boring sometimes too. I suppose everyone's is.

Anyway, I showed Jill that last post. She read it and said, "That sounds wonderful, Kat!" But then she asked -- I was hoping she would -- "What makes you think you might be going 'crazy'?" And she made those little quotation marks with her fingers, laughing a little in how she said it. "It's not crazy to dream. Everybody dreams."

"I know," I said. "But that just doesn't sound like me." And I said sometimes it seems like there's someone else in my head. Or maybe that I'm in someone else's head. And I said I'm usually a very happy person.

"Of course you are," says Jill. And she says no one else is inside my head, don't be silly. And that of course I'm not a figment of someone else's imagination. "Though, that is an interesting thought," she says, looking thoughtful. So we think about that for a while.

Then we talked about other things till it was time to go. I always feel better after seeing Jill. She cheers me up. Maybe I'll go for a run.