launching your marketing campaign

Mezzanine finance is unsecured debt (or preference shares) offering a high return with a high risk. This type of debt generally offers interest rates two to five percentage points more than that on senior debt and frequently gives the lenders some right to a share in equity values should the firm perform well. The dung beetles include several subfamilies of the large family Scarabaeidae, the scarab beetles. There are thousands of species of dung beetles, occurring worldwide wherever dung is found. Dada was a cultural movement that began in Zürich during World War I and peaked from 1916 to 1920. Don't worry, though, it's over now.

dreaming is free

When I met you in the restaurant,
You could tell I was no debutante.

four arguments for the proliferation of television

Finally! A cable series with a believable female alien!

sisters are doing it for themselves

Kudos to Jeneane Sessum for making the WWWomen of Web 2.0 list over on Tara Hunt's Horse Pig Cow blog. I'm especially pleased that Jeneane is receiving this recognition for the crucial role she has played as co-founder and chairman of Kat Herding Media. Without her insight and encouragement, KHM would never have gotten off the ground.

And how fitting to have that list preceded by this wonderful photo portrait of Amelia Earheart, America's First Lady of the Air. You can even see her aura! To me, she looks like a more huggable version of Lawrence of Arabia.

not a charity - it's a business model

Here's a way you (and your customers) can make a difference. And the cool thing about this is you don't really need to care -- but it'll make it look like you do. So hey, upgrade your choice! (btw, today's musical accompaniment is to celebrate Black Friday. See you at the sales!)

There's a book called Gonzo Marketing that talks about this sort of thing in a chapter on "Social Marketing." About five years ago I saw a copy of it in the remainder bin at Barnes & Noble. Has anyone out there ever read it? If so, please let me know.

Meanwhile, red is the new blue.

fee fee fi fi fo fo fum
look at molly now - here she comes
wearin her wig hat and shades to match
she's got high heel sneakers and an alligator hat
wearin her pearls and her diamond rings
she's got bracelets on her fingers now and everything
she's the devil with the blue dress blue dress blue dress
devil with the blue dress on

mitch ryder

self promotion

We initially hired someone to help with getting these blog posts up. However, he turned out to be sort of an oddball and quite difficult to work with. Sadly, I had to let him go. With love, of course. These things happen and we all have to learn to move on. Meanwhile, I think I've pretty much gotten the hang of how this blogging stuff works, so I'm now posting all by myself. Yay!

One thing has been bothering me though. You already know I'm Kat, so what sense does it make to sign these posts with my name? That just seemed so... I don't know... redundant or something. Wouldn't it be better to have some kind of meaningful title? I scratched my head. I surfed around in HyperSpace. And I found something that seems to fit perfectly: Chief Blogging Officer. That site appears to be written by another odd sort. For instance, what's up with the fellow making paper dolls? I mean, that's just weird. But since I started blogging last week, I'm getting more familiar (if not more comfortable) with this type of aberrant behavior. Comes with the territory, I suppose.

Anyway, the guy doesn't seem to have any lock on the title, so I gave myself a much deserved promotion to "Chief Blogging Officer" of Kat Herding Media. You will see all my posts signed this way going forward.

never forget

I want to remind everyone just how much we have to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. First of all, each and every one of us here at Kat Herding Media is white. I know I thank God for that every day. Second, we're all upper middle class or better. You don't see people crashing in their cubes because they don't have a home to go home to. Not since I had to let Louise go, anyway. And related to that, we no longer have people shooting crystal in the washrooms. KHM has come a long way in the past year. Third, we have greatly reduced the number of truly butthead clients we're carrying. Remember how bad it was in 2005? All those opinionated SOBs who thought they knew more than we did about every little goddam thing? Well, that's not the case today. At present, I'd say no more than 10% fall into the "hopeless" category. By the way, I've assigned these accounts to Jeremy as payback for the lip he gave me on his blog last week. However, as you can see from his most recent post, he's making every effort at reform (though I'm not sure I quite follow about the dinosaur and the dentist). Also, we had another, more serious talk about that... material he has on his company laptop. This time he took my point, even if a bit grudgingly.

At any rate, have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

the client

I was just now catching up on my favorite South African blog, when this darling picture reminded me of our core values initiative. I just want to remind everyone that we must never, not even for a moment, let our focus drift from the customer. The customer is everything. The customer is why we exist!

I'd like each of you to put this graphic on your desktop as an aide-mémoire with respect to this central focus and raison d'etre of our work here at Kat Herding. Let us make this image an intrinsic feature of our corporate Weltanschauung. And how could you resist? OMG, he's so cute!

missionary position statement

Now this is right up my alley!

Last night I was reading about all these large corporations and government think tanks that have mission statements and position papers and so forth. I think it would be a wonderful idea to come up with our own. So team, as I said in the meeting this morning, start thinking about what our core values are. Do we have any? Do we need some? If so, which ones would be good? Some possibles: Nobility of Purpose, Integrity, Fashion Sense, Perseverance, Vision, Customer Focus, Cuteness... The list of candidates is literally endless, but we'll have to choose just a handful.

Creating our missionary position statement should be lots of fun!

do not mess with me, mister!

OK, Jeremy, I found your blog. Very funny. Just because I seem naive, doesn't mean I'm a moron. Oh you are so going to get it on Monday! How would you like it if I posted the full-frontal version of this photo I took in Orlando? Forgot about that one, didn't you? You low-life pillow-biter! Ass bandit! Fudge packer! Pole smoker! How about if I told stories about you and François? You are treading on very thin ice here, Bucko. Let the punishment fit the crime. And believe me, I'm thinking about it. Now I'm going to have to come back early tomorrow and book an extra session with Jill. Are they really laughing at me? Oooh, I hate you!

notes for monday

I'll be out in the Hamptons all day tomorrow and I don't want to have to gather up these thoughts late Sunday night. If I get back Sunday night. Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky.

Given our new accounts with Wal-Mart and IBM, Stu is interviewing like crazy for new talent to help balance the load. I'm not too worried about those, but I want to make sure we're adequately servicing our existing customers. Here's what I think I know about them. (Jeremy, hon, could you email this around to the troops so we can get some meaningful feedback in the Monday morning meeting?)

• Highbeam: We seem to have gotten Chief Blogging Officer working again. That took long enough! But that's good. Now we just need to keep it from going belly-up again. Let's make sure it doesn't, folks.
• Allied: Jeremy is on this one, as he has been from the beginning, so no worries. However, he says he's having trouble "thinking like a woman" lately. Imagine me rolling my eyes here, sweetie.
• Krugle: Krugle seems to be in good shape. I don't understand Thing One about the account, but whatever they've come up with over there, it seems to be selling itself. Something about searching for software, isn't it?
• Mystic Bourgeoisie: Now this one I am worried about. Who's on the account? Who's been writing that stuff? Whoever it is, see me in my office at 10 o'clocke sharp.
• Qumana: Jeremy, this is another one of yours, is it not? Do you have their customers "winning friends and influence" as they say on their site? If not, bub, we better talk about it.
• Audible: We definitely need more ideas for Audible. I asked for input last month and got a big zero. Come on, people! It's a terrific service, but it needs wider visibility. Give us something to run with!
• JP Rangaswami: I left this for last because we've really fallen down here. JP has been very patient and understanding of the difficulties we've had, but it's time for a serious push on the FF campaign. As you all know, I had to fire that incompetent idiot we had working on it. Since then, I've taken this one on personally. (JP, I'll be blogging some rough ideas here this week.)

OK, that's it, team. Unless I've forgotten anyone. See you all Monday at 8!

appointment

Well, sometimes I think I'm going crazy. Where did that last thing come from? I definitely drank too much last night, so maybe that was it. I probably shouldn't have put it here. On this blog, I mean. I guess it's kind of private, even though I don't know what it means. Jeremy called a little while ago to ask where I got that picture. Good question. It was like I was sleep-walking when I did that. I don't even remember posting it. I'm a little worried about this. Should I be worried?

I had an appointment with Jill this morning, so that was convenient. Jill is my therapist. She's great. I like her a lot. We usually talk about work and stress and my career plans and so on. It gets a bit boring sometimes, but she never seems bored. She seems interested in everything. She says, "Why, that sounds wonderful, Kat," like she's really excited for me. I guess the therapy part is when I start wondering why what she's excited about sounds boring to me. I mean, what we're talking about is me, right? I wonder if her life is boring sometimes too. I suppose everyone's is.

Anyway, I showed Jill that last post. She read it and said, "That sounds wonderful, Kat!" But then she asked -- I was hoping she would -- "What makes you think you might be going 'crazy'?" And she made those little quotation marks with her fingers, laughing a little in how she said it. "It's not crazy to dream. Everybody dreams."

"I know," I said. "But that just doesn't sound like me." And I said sometimes it seems like there's someone else in my head. Or maybe that I'm in someone else's head. And I said I'm usually a very happy person.

"Of course you are," says Jill. And she says no one else is inside my head, don't be silly. And that of course I'm not a figment of someone else's imagination. "Though, that is an interesting thought," she says, looking thoughtful. So we think about that for a while.

Then we talked about other things till it was time to go. I always feel better after seeing Jill. She cheers me up. Maybe I'll go for a run.

do you ever wonder if you're going crazy?

I don't want to wake up. I don't want to. Not yet. I just want to burrow down deep in this comforter, wrapped in this ocean of dream I keep dreaming. Now where was I? Oh yes. And who was I? Oh my. Eyes closed and drifting, dreaming down deep inside the dream of myself, of you. I won't ask who are you. For now just hold, just hang like a bird on the edge of the wind, of a wave, of the incoming night. Not ask where these images come from, if they're real, if I am here at all. Not yet. Turning and wheeling, eyes closed, no idea where I came from, what road, what track led me here. No yesterday, no tomorrow. This sudden sadness like the breeze shifting to the south. I won't ask where to now. I won't stay. I won't leave. This is safe. This is nowhere at all. Familiar though, this place, this time. And you. Someone. I won't ask if I know you, won't break the silence that holds us, that wraps around this separate world. For a moment I thought, I felt, I was somewhere else. I was someone I can't quite recall now surfacing out of, no into, where am I? Oh yes I remember. Saturday morning. Newspaper. Coffee. Alone here. I must have been dreaming.

oh my gosh

Someone blogged about my blog! Imagine my surprise to see Kat Herding all lit up like that on someone else's blog. I guess I was spending far too much time in Microsoft Project when all this Internet stuff was getting underway. Anyway, many thanks to Susan Getgood over at Marketing Roadmaps. Just one question: who is this "RageBoy" character? You are perhaps the 10th person who has mentioned him to me in the last couple days. I have to admit, I am in the dark on this one.

Incidentally, I notice that I have not included my email address anywhere here yet. It's simply kat@katherding.com. And Jeremy's is jeremy@katherding.com. What could be simpler? They're almost identical, except I'm the girl and he's the boy. <g> (that's like a smiley)

was this such a hot idea?

Dear Blog, what now? Just as the dust was settling from our busiest week ever, Jeremy stuck his head in at my door and asked if he could "have a word." I always get worried when he's so polite. It means he's going to tell me something I don't want to hear. And sure enough.

The one part of this blog I did myself -- and I was so proud of it! -- is the section titled "Our Personal Pals." It's over on the right side of the page somewhere. But Jeremy says it's all wrong. He was gentle enough about it, true, but now I feel like crying. Homeland Security is important to me. To all of us, in fact. I mean, isn't it? But he says that, instead, we should put things like TechCrunch and Techmeme and Scobelizer in there. And a bunch of other gibberish sounding nonsense I can't remember now. I've never even heard of those. What the hell is a Scobelizer? It sounds like one of those things they turn on at night when you're a kid and you have a bad cold.

[btw (this means "by the way," by the way), I went to the Scobelizer thing after Jeremy left. The person who writes that was talking about another person named Hugh McLeod who has a site called (can you believe this, Blog?) Gaping Void. Mr. McLeod has some drawing talent, to be sure, but I think he belongs in an institution. Where do they get these people?]

Worse, they all seem to be boys, and from long experience, I know there's only one thing most boys want. Hint: a lot more than a slot in my sidebar. At least I feel I can trust Jeremy, because he's... But I guess we already covered that. I was really upset about this. Bernie Ebbers was so nice to me when I was at MCI, and it's bad enough they've got him in the slammer now for some minor oversight. I don't want to take his link down too. Talk about insult to injury!

I can't tell you how this whole thing has affected me emotionally. I spent a long time in the executive washroom. But I promised Jeremy I would think about it over the weekend, and we even shook on it. Actually, I think I'm going to start the weekend early down at that new martini bar everyone's been talking about. I feel like getting hammered.

we landed the account!

It turns out I was wrong about those IBMers. (I almost wrote, "Dear Diary" -- this is so much like that.) They just left a little while ago, and oh my, what a morning. Wrong about them not reading blogs, I mean. The woman, Angela, couldn't stop talking about having found this one. "It's so cool that you blog," she said, "and I never would have figured you for a suicide girl!"

I must have looked as confused as I felt -- what was she telling me? -- because Jeremy found an excuse to get me out of the conference room for a minute, and explained about the ad in the sidebar, the one that just says SG. Since they left, I went into my office and clicked on it. Dear God. It appears to be some sort of porn site. And the other one is even worse! However, that was all Angela could talk about. "Lithium Picnic?" she asked. "And what other little secrets have you been keeping from us?" She said this with a sort of wink, which made me uncomfortable, to say the least-- and that was before I knew what was underneath those unsettling graphics.

But we got the business. Yay! It's such a lot of business that I kept asking Jeremy to run the numbers for me. Looks as if I'll be able to get that Porsche this year after all. Can you believe it, diary? (Whoops, there I go again.) So what if Angela was a little odd? It's a free country, right? But I do keep wondering what lithium is, and what, if anything, it has to do with picnics. Isn't lithium what they put in those balloons? The kind that kids are always losing at the park, at the zoo, and balling their little heads off? No wait... wasn't there a Nirvana song called Lithium? Didn't I hear that at a party once? Maybe it's a drug of some kind. I guess that would make sense. The women at that site certainly seemed to be on something.

Wow, I wonder how many people at IBM are kinky dopers? It can't be that many, can it? Oh well, who cares? We got the account! I think I'll go see if Jeremy has any plans for lunch. We deserve a celebration after the Q3 from hell. And maybe afterwards he can show me that leather lingerie shop he keeps mentioning. Sounds fascinating.

whew, that was close!

OMG. It turns out Jeremy has a computer at home, too, and he read my last post before I could figure out how to erase it. I was up half the night worrying about what I wrote. I mean, what if people didn't already know? But he seemed to think it was funny. I was so embarrassed trying to explain, and he was just laughing. Laughing! Maybe I'm just old-fashioned. Is that possible? I will have to think about this. Not now, though, as the IBM group is due in just a couple hours and we haven't yet finished that Powerpoint deck. This is a make-it-or-break-it pitch for us. Time to scramble! At least they don't seem like the kind of people who'd be reading blogs. Thank God.

maybe you can help me with this

Sure, I think Jeremy is a cute guy, but what people are saying about us just isn't true. Look, I've been in the business world for a long time now (if I look young, it's just that I take care of myself), and I've worked hard to get where I am today. It means a lot to me, and I don't mind admitting it. I like nice things, nice cars, nice romantic evenings in exotic locales like Bangkok or Montana. I also know what's appropriate and what isn't. I guess what I'm trying to say is I wasn't born yesterday.

But here's where you can help me. Maybe you could leave a comment or something. The thing is, I'm new to this whole business blogging business. I know you're supposed to be all open and free-form and everything -- though I have to say that's not how I was brought up! Still, everyone I've asked about it has told me, "Oh Kat, just be yourself. You have such a wonderful personality. You'll be great!"

I don't know. Though I'm certainly willing to give it a try. Otherwise, why would I be sitting up so late typing all this stuff? Gosh, I guess I did drink a bit too much at that meeting with the Wal-Mart people today. I hope I'm not all goofy in the morning for the IBM presentation. Anyway, I seem to be beating around the bush here, and that's really not like me. I usually come straight to the point. OK, here's the problem. Jeremy is gay.

Not that I mean that's a problem. Heavens, no! Some of my best friends... Well, and I imagine even more of yours. Right? I mean, heck, it seems just about everyone these days is gay or lesbian or some damn thing. But don't let me get started on all that, because that's not the problem here. The problem is what Jeremy showed me on his laptop today. I could tell he really wanted me to like them, but to tell you the truth, I was shocked. A little shocked, anyway. I tried not to show it, but I think I disappointed him. Plus, I think it was inappropriate behavior on his part. And after all, I am his manager. Do people talk about things like this on their blogs? I think I am going to have to make a new policy that Jeremy isn't allowed to read mine. Oh, now I wish I hadn't even started this thing, and this is only my third post. My head hurts. I'm going to bed.

oh this is so much fun!

Jeremy and I are celebrating a big client win. We just landed the account for Wal-Mart's new "We Love Our People" campaign. We're real excited about it. It's all about social media (more on that later - we're under NDA). So we're over here in Brisbane, California, and we've had a few glasses of wine. Well, a few bottles. Well, I've a had a few bottles; Jeremy is our designated driver. You can see my halo slipping in this photo. I usually don't drink this much, but it's such a big account and it's such a nice day out here and Jeremy said it would be OK just this once.

how can I thank you enough?

There are just so many people to thank for helping me get this site set up and running, I hardly know where to begin. Of course I must blow kisses to Jeneane Sessum and Chris Locke, who are posting these messages for me. But I'm especially grateful to Jeremy. I would be so lost without his capable assistance. I have to admit all this technology still has me in a bit of a swoon. That's Jeremy and I deciding on whether to go all CSS or more of an Ajax feel. I know it looks as if we're pretty formal around here, but if you look closely (I always do), you can see he's wearing jeans! I think it's important for people to able to express themselves in the workplace. Don't you?